


Love Is Blind

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: "Yeah." Lukas snapped. "Love is blind.""Yeah.." The man nodded. "It really is."





	Love Is Blind

"I'm gonna be right over there." Philip explained, pointing over at a bunch of bleachers near the finish line. They were mostly packed, people pressed body to body, all screaming and yelling about who they thought would win or lose.  

Lukas stared down at him. He tuned the screams out, he learned to do that when he was fourteen and his dad got bad. Fourteen years later, at age twenty eight, the skill still came in handy when dealing with all of his races. He reached up and cupped Philips cheeks. "Kiss me-"

"Lukas." Philip was trying hard to sound annoyed. He always did. But Lukas knew he wasn't. They couldn't get enough of each other, Lukas was just more open about it. "Are you even listening?"

Lukas twisted his arms around Philips waist and began to sway, smiling down at him. Philip looked back at him, his big brown eyes studying Lukas' face. It made him blush, it had since they met. He melted under Philips gaze. He always would. "Honestly.." Lukas grinned. "No. I never do." 

Philip slammed his hands against Lukas' chest with a loud thud. "You asshole-"

"Its like on Charlie Brown." Lukas' chest was vibrating with laughter as if he was the funniest man on earth. Philip assumed in Lukas' eyes he really was the funniest. "Wah wah wah.." Lukas began to mimic the weird mumbling that adults did in Charlie Brown while poking at Philips sides in order to make him laugh.

Philip rolled his eyes and twisted around in Lukas' grip. "Lukas-" He whined. His fingers curled around the cool leather of Lukas' jacket. "Stop!" A smile spread across Philips lips as he began to squirm even more. "I'm being serious! Stop! Or else!" 

"Or else what?" Lukas panted, pushing Philip against the concrete wall. They were standing in one of the tunnels that leg riders drag their bikes into the arena. They always met here before races. Its where they talked and kissed before Lukas went out to ride. Its tradition. "You gonna divorce me?" He grinned. 

"Maybe." Philip taunted, pushing Lukas' hands away over and over, his smile only growing. "After three years I've decided you're too annoying to be married to." Philip slid his hands up and down Lukas' chest, swaying with him. 

The crowd was screaming louder. Time was ticking. But Lukas didn't care. He would stop the race right in the middle for Philip. He would do anything for him. It used to scare Lukas, to care about someone so much, but now it felt only natural. They were in love. Lukas prayed they always would be.

Lukas pouted, dramatically, looking down at Philip. "Thats not fair." He stomped his feet as if he was a child throwing a tantrum. "You're stuck with me."

Philip nodded, standing up on the balls of his feet, gripping Lukas' arms to keep himself stable. He pressed his forehead to Lukas' their noses brushing against each other. "I am, aren't I?" He grinned.

"I could be worse." Lukas mumbled. "I could be snobby and rich." He slid his hands into the back pockets of Philips jeans. "Or I could listen to music too loud and scream the lyrics no matter how bad of a singer I am."

Philip nodded, laughing. It made Lukas' heart swell. "Yeah, you're right.." Philip looked up at him, his smile turning into something more soft and vulnerable. "I love you. A lot."

"I know." Lukas muttered, reaching up and brushing the curls from Philips face. "I love you." He pecked his lips. "More than anything." 

"You really don't annoy me.." Philip trailed off. "I adore you-"

"You're being sappy." Lukas teased. "C'mon we've been together for years. I know you really don't mean that stuff. You're my soulmate. You gotta love me whether I'm annoying or perfect." Lukas rubbed his thumbs along Philips hip bones.

"I can't have my last words to you be an insult." Philip was always paranoid. It all began the day Lukas got shot. Ever since then, Philip always thought worse case scenario. He apologized for every joke he considered "mean" and he constantly told Lukas he loved him. It was what kept him calm. If something bad happened while they were separated, Philips last words would be "I love you." Those words were a safety net for him. Lukas didn't mind. 

"Babe.." Lukas trailed off. "I'm going to be okay. I always am." He kissed his forehead, then his nose, then both corners of Philips mouth. "And when the race is over I'm gonna get my giant trophy and wait for you to run from the stands and jump and wrap your arms around me and kiss me." He pecked his lips. "I love you. Relax."

Philip avoided Lukas' eyes. "Don't say stuff. Saying you're always okay messes it all up. You're being cocky when you do that. It pisses the universe off and the universe begins to plan on how to ruin it." He cupped Lukas' cheeks, making Lukas look down at him. "Just promise me that you will be safe and follow all the rules. Okay?" 

Lukas had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. It would be rude to do so. Philip loves him and hes worried. He needs to be nice and do whatever he can to calm Philip down. "I promise to be safe and follow all the rules." 

"Thank you.." Philip mumbled. "Those guys play dirty-" 

Lukas cut him off, pressing their lips together. "I will be okay. I've been riding since I was twelve and competing since I was fifteen. I know what to do." He wrapped his arms around Philip and pulled him into a tight hug. "You always worry-"

"I love you." Philip mumbled into his shoulder. "And this is dangerous. Just last week a guy got ran over-"

"But he didn't die." Lukas added with a smile. Philip stopped for a moment and contemplated slapping the dumb smile off his face, kissing the dumb smile off, or lecturing Lukas until he couldn't take it. 

"Yeah! He didn't!" Philip snapped. Workers and other riders turned and looked at him when he shouted. "But he was ran over, Lukas! That still sucks! Thats still horribly dangerous!" 

"We have professionals check our bikes and the lanes we ride. Everything is okay. They don't want to be sued." Lukas kissed his knuckles. "Calm down."

"If you get ran over I'm gonna do a whole lot more than sue! I'm gonna strangle each and every one of those dicks for letting you get hurt." Philip sighed, pressing his forehead to Lukas' shoulder.  "Its.. I just.." 

"You worry." Lukas mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You have always worried. Ever since I got shot."

"I thought your motor popped or something. Cars make sounds like that all the time." Philip pressed closer, slipping his hand underneath Lukas' shirt, tracing the scar. He didn't need to look to find it. He had it memorized. "What if you died? What if something like that happens again?"

"Ryan is dead." Lukas ducked down so Philip was looking at him. "Hes been dead. We've been safe." He cupped Philips cheek and wiped away the tears the boy was ignoring. "I know theres risks, you do too.." Lukas laughed, softly. "You didn't let me ride for two months when the doctor only said wait two weeks."

"That doctor didn't know shit." Philip wiped his own tears away, taking a deep breath. "Just be safe. And if you don't walk away from this race in one piece and okay, I will kill you." He jabbed his finger into Lukas' chest. "Understood?"

Lukas grinned. He was in love. He had been for years. "Understood." Sometimes Lukas wondered if it was obvious. Obvious that he would give up everything for Philip if he asked him to. But thats not what Philip wanted. He didn't want to take riding away, he just wanted to make sure it was safe. "I love you." Lukas called as Philip walked out of the tunnel.

"I love you!" Philip turned around, giving Lukas a thumbs up. "You better win!" 

"I win every day I'm with you!" Lukas yelled. 

Philip turned around, shaking his head. Across the back of his shirt read the name Waldenbeck.

"Do I get a kiss if I win?!" 

"Lukas!" Philip laughed. "Go get ready! It'll start soon!" 

Lukas sighed. "Fine.." He waited a few moments before running after Philip, gripping him by the waist and lifting him up before spinning him around. He set Philip on the ground, pushing him against the wall. "Gimme a good luck kiss.." He whispered.

Philip blushed, kissing Lukas slowly, tangling his hands in his hair. "C'mon.. kiss back.."

"I just was in shock. Your lips are so nice." Lukas was grinning against Philips lips. 

"I've kissed you every day since we were like seventeen. Are you really still so shocked by me?" Philip looked up at Lukas, panting.

Lukas nodded. "Yes. I am." Lukas kissed his chin. "Always gonna be shocked. How did I get so lucky?"

"Shut up." Philip mumbled. "Just kiss me-"

"I can't believe you're using me for kisses." Lukas pulled away, pouting. "I thought you loved me for my personality." 

"Barely." Philip yanked him down by the collar of his jacket, pressing up against him. He ghosted his lips across Lukas', smiling. "God, I love you."

Lukas stared down at him. His palms were sweating. His eyes were wide. He was in high school again. "Yeah.." He breathed out. "You too.." 

Philips nose brushed against Lukas', his eyes fluttering shut. "How about we do this right?" He whispered, licking his own lips. 

"Yeah.." Lukas nodded, swallowing. "Lets do it right." He pulled Philip tight against his body, finger tips digging into him. He pressed his forehead to Philips, staring down at his lips.

"You forget how to kiss me?" Philip asked. That was the difference. Philip was always loving to Lukas. He kissed him and held him. It wasn't in phases like it was with Lukas. Don't get Lukas wrong, he always loved Philip, but sometimes it just hit him. This boy was his. This was his life.

"Shut up." Lukas all but whined. "Just.. admiring you.." 

"Admire me while you kiss me, huh? Big guy?" Philip grinned as Lukas blushed. 

"Yeah. Sounds good." Lukas kissed him, gently at first. The crowd yelling and the motors starting faded. All he could hear was the thudding of his heart in his chest. 

Philip kissed back, leaning against the wall to keep himself upright. "I love you." He breathed out between kisses. 

Lukas kissed him harder, closing his eyes, tight. He was kissing Philip like it would be his last time. He pulled away to gasp for air, his red cheeks making his eyes stand out.

"Wow.." Philip breathed. 

"What?" Lukas asked, straightening up. "Was it bad?" 

"No." Philip laughed, touching Lukas' cheek. Lukas pushed against his touch. "You're just kissing me.. hard, today."

"Just don't wanna forget you." Lukas gestured around him. "Don't wanna forget this." He looked around himself before looking at Philip. 

"You trying to forget me?" He smirked, looking up at Lukas through his eyelashes.

"Never." Lukas muttered. He didn't want to add the last part. The part where he reminded Philip that the truth was whenever he stepped into the arenas he didn't know if he would walk out the same as he went in, or if he would walk out. "I love you. Go get to your seat. I'm late."

"Love you." Philip smiled, pushing past Lukas and running out into the sunlight.  

Lukas turned around and walked deeper into the tunnel, fishing his keys from his pocket. He looked at his competitors, smiling at them. They all replied with blank stares. Lukas stopped in front of his bike. 

It was always easy to find his own bike. Most riders chose dark colors. Navy, black, or red. They decorated with white or black letters and keep the patterns on it simple and dark. Lukas' was white with light green and  yellow with touches of navy, only because it was Philips favorite. He often got a lot of shit for it, too. People said it was ugly and a weird, but Lukas didn't care. Yellow and green was his mothers favorite colors and no rich guy on his high horse was going to make Lukas change his bike.

Lukas zipped his jacket all the way up, pulling his helmet on, then the goggles. Next were his gloves, wrapping around each of his fingers tightly. Lastly, Lukas checked his boots, tying them as tight as they could. He straddled his bike, slipping the key inside, starting it. Looking down at his dials, Lukas smiled. Slipped between the glass and the bike were pictures of Philip and Sally. They were torn up and faded and had to be held together with tape, but Lukas didn't mind.

Lukas grabbed both of the handles, kicking his kick stand up. He slowly began to drive, gripping his handle bars tight. He sped up once he realized there was no one else around. They must have already been on the track. He drove out of the tunnel, his motorcycle purring beneath him. 

Fifteen other riders were in their lanes, gear and bikes on. Workers rushed around, all shouting different things while the fans in the stands buzzed in their seats. Lukas pulled up to his spot, which was in the middle row on the far left. He always hated being near the grass. So many things could happen if his tires fell off of the track and into the dip of grass where all of the pit crew workers stood and waited. 

Once Lukas was in his spot he looked around for Philip. A wide smile broke out on his face when he saw Philip. The boy was in a white shirt that had Lukas written over the heart  in cursive. Philip was standing with Gabe, Helen, Rose, and Rose's girlfriend Maya. It was odd not seeing his dad there. It had been about five years since Lukas kicked him out of his life but he was still so used to Bo being there.  

Philip was holding a sign that said Lukas' name on it with a bunch of hearts and #1's written all over it. Rose and Maya held a sign that said "Waldenwrecked" a phrase Lukas used once years ago and regretted it ever since. Helen had a hat on that was decorated with the colors from Lukas' bike and Gabe was wearing a green shirt that had nothing on the front but a "W" on the back.

Lukas turned away from them when a woman began talking, her voice echoing throughout the arena. She explained the rules before listing off each of the riders and their history in motocross. After that she began talking about the various sponsors that paid for the race to happen and for the riders to come. Lastly, she began counting down the seconds until the woman in front of them waved the flag to begin the race.

Once she was out of the way, motors roared and tires screeched against the bumpy pavement. Motorcycles rushed past each other, dipping dangerously low to the ground and taking too close turns in front of each other. Lukas' grip only tightened as he raced around the others, his eyes glued to the area in front of him. He hunched down over the handle bars, speeding up as fast as he could. The crowd roared loudly, claps and screams and chants filling the ears of all those around them. Lukas was thankful that he couldn't hear it all, instead he mostly heard the hum of his engine along with a few words and claps here and there.

Lukas was on his third lap when he closed his eyes to breathe. He was in the lead, three motorcycles behind him. They were close, but Lukas made sure to keep his speed as high as it could go. Within seconds Lukas opened his eyes once more. He glanced behind him, gasping when he saw two of the motorcycles gaining on him fast. He twisted back around and took a sharp turn around one of the corners, dipping so low to the ground he was scared. He slowed himself down, looking up at the boards. They glowed of different colors, reading different numbers and letters. He had five laps. He was okay. 

Lukas slowed down more, two more bikes passing him. Once they were gone he sped up once more. The wind was blowing harshly against him, his grip on his bike tightening so hard that his hands began to ache. The crowd stopped cheering but Lukas kept his eyes glued to the path, looking around for anything that could get in his way.

It was too late when Lukas looked up. He was going 85 miles per hour and three bikes were wrecked ahead of him, the bodies of the riders and the bike spreading out and covering all of the lanes. Lukas closed his eyed and braced himself for the impact. His tire caught on one of the still spinning tires from another bike, flipping. His back was slammed into the concrete, his grip on the bike loosening. The handle bars came up and slammed into his helmet, cracking and breaking the plastic of his goggles. His body was drug and flipped across the pavement, his body wiggling around each time it hit. There was no air in his lungs but there was a burning pain all over his body.

The crowd was silent but motors continued to roar as they approached the wreck. The ground vibrated beneath Lukas and his vision was blurry around the sides. Something hit him in his ribs, it felt like a wheel. Another thing hit him in the head, making his skull bounce inside the helmet. He was too afraid to open his eyes. He felt hot all over and he was almost sure he was burning. More and more bikes began to pile up, scraping against the ground and flying across the bodies of the people on the ground. Riders were flung from their bikes and skidded across the concrete. 

Lukas screamed when something hit him on the top of his head, jerking his head down, ramming the edge of the helmet into his shoulders. Maybe he had been screaming the entire time. What felt like a body slammed into his chest, sliding him across the cement, the end of the bike slamming into his hand that lay next to him. His entire body hurt, his head was throbbing and all he could hear was ringing. He opened his eyes and all he saw was dark blurs and shapes he couldn't make out.

The last of the bikers slammed into the wreckage, bikes and bodies piling against each other, running motors still buzzing all around them. Within seconds all the riders were bloody and tattered, laying limp on the track. Screams began to overpower the sound of buzzing motors. Lukas' chest was heavy, his mask was being held down by something. Slowly he raised his hand up and felt around, wincing when his hand wrapped around a piece of metal. His side stung. He slid his hand down and screamed when his hand brushed against something that ripped his insides apart. 

Broken pieces of plastic were all over Lukas' face, warmth showering his skin. Lukas slid his hand up, grabbing at what felt like a cloth that hung over his head. A body and a motorcycle were on top of him. A piece of something was stabbing into him. He was going to die. Lukas opened his eyes again but blood pooled his vision. His head began to jerk around as the weight was lifted off of it. Next was the bike. It was yanked up, one of the edges catching on the bottom of Lukas' helmet and jerking his head up.

"Move! Move!" A familiar voice screamed. "Let go of him! Let me help him! I know what to do! You're hurting him...oh my... oh my god!" The voice sounded more frantic. "A piece of metal is in him! Hes bleeding! Get an ambulance!" 

"Sir!" A loud voice yelled. "Someone come get him! Hes making this worse!"  

"No! I am not! Hes my husband!" Husband? He was married? "And you are doing nothing to help him! Lukas! Baby! You're gonna be okay! I will make sure you will be! I love you!" 

Bright light pierced into his eyes through his eyelids. Fingers poked at his head before they began to yank his helmet off. It took several tries before they finally pulled it off. The bright light was back in a matter of seconds.

"Lukas! Babe! Hes bleeding! Someone help him! Hes bleeding stop checking his eyes!"

Lukas' eyelids were lifted up, the bright light shining into him causing him to whimper.

"Lukas." The second voice spoke. "Can you speak? Can you see?" 

Lukas whimpered, blinking his eyes open before his eyes rolled back into his head, the world going black.

 

\- 3 Months Later - 

"Lukas?" A soft voice called his name. "Lukas, its time to wake up. You need to go to physcial therapy." Warm hands rubbed up and down his arms.

Lukas pushed against their touch, smiling into his pillow. Human touch felt so nice. It had been forever since he had been held by anyone who wasn't a nurse. Lukas blinked his eyes open and smiled up at the nurse. It was a different one. Not Emma or Kayla or Eric. "Good morning.." He mumbled, stretching his arms above his head.

"Good morning." The nurse had big brown eyes and a shy smile. He was pale, like Lukas. Some part of Lukas felt like he knew this man. But he had never seen him in his life. Maybe the nurse just reminded him of someone. He did know a lot of people.

"Has Philip called? Its been a while since he visited. I miss him." Lukas slipped out of bed, slowly. He had a million stiches and metal pins holding him together and he could swear he felt them shift each time he moved. The doctors lied. He wouldn't get used to this.

The man was silent for a moment. "No. He hasn't called." He looked down at Lukas as if he was broken. It was how Lukas felt. Broken. "I am so sorry, Lukas. Maybe you should forget Philip."

Lukas scoffed, pulling on his sweatpants. "I could never forget about Philip. He was my entire world.  Still is." He shrugged. "I guess thats what love is. Someone can be your world but you won't always be theirs."

"I'm sure he loves you. He just doesn't know what to do.. this.. this must have traumatized him, too." The nurse offered a smile. Lukas couldn't take it. Instead he pulled on his shirt and shrugged. 

"Philip and I have been through worse. A killer was after us. He shot me. See?" Lukas lifted his shirt up and pointed at the small car beneath hos chest. "That was worse than the wreck." 

The nurse guided a wheel chair towards him, holding it still when Lukas sat down on it. "Why is that?"

"Because he was in danger, too. That was scarier than anything else. Not being able to protect him. Not being able to do anything. It was my fault, ya know?" Lukas looked back at the nurse. 

The nurse rolled Lukas out of his hospital room, looking around the hall. "It wasn't your fault."

"Doesn't matter. Philips gone now. He doesn't want me." Lukas mumbled. "I just.. I don't know."

"Why won't you move on?" The nurse asked. "Its been three months and Philips... been gone. Maybe its time to.. be happy." 

"I can't." Lukas mumbled. "Hes my world. I love him and he.. I don't know. He loved me." He sunk down in his wheel chair. 

"Thats good." The nurse replied. "Did you have a good time when you were in love?"

"Yeah." Lukas nodded. He was grinning. "We were all over each other. Like dumb teenagers, but the love never went away. It was always the honeymoon phase. We did have fights but we always made up." Lukas sighed, falling silent when they stopped in front of the room he was being sent to. "Can we take another lap?" 

The nurse looked down at the phone in his hand. "We have two minutes until you need to go in there."

"Can I tell you more about Philip?" Lukas asked. It was less of a question. The statement sounded more like begging. 

The nurse nodded, smiling. "Whatever you want."

"Well, since the accident I can't match his face well. But I know I love him. And I know his name and how we were and what we did but hes just...blurry." Lukas rambled. "I know he has brown eyes and is shorter than me. But I'm still remembering things."

"You can't remember what he looks like but you can remember he was your whole world?" The nurse smirked at him. Lukas didn't understand why.

"Yeah." Lukas snapped. "Love is blind."

"Yeah.." The man nodded. "It really is."

"Who are you anyway?" Lukas asked. "I've never seen you before."

The man looked down at his feet, biting his lip. "Um.." 

Lukas watched him. Why was this so hard? It was just a question. 

"Philip."

Lukas looked up. "What?"

"I am Philip."


End file.
